Balancing Hope and Expectations with Perception

Woman walking on the beach with title of blog post over layed.

Hope and expectation, though they might seem similar, are pretty different. Hope is more about wanting something positive to happen, even when you’re not sure it will. That optimistic part of us keeps going, believing things can improve, especially when times are tough. Expectation, however, is more concrete and based on what we think will happen, often because of past experiences or logical reasoning. It’s a belief that a specific outcome is likely or deserved, and we often have some control over making it happen. While hope helps us stay resilient by focusing on potential good outcomes, expectations can lead to disappointment if things don’t go as planned. Recognizing these differences is key to managing our emotions and setting realistic goals, both in our personal relationships and professional lives.


Infographic of Hope versus Expecations

Right now, I am struggling between the two of these. In my relationships, my finances, my business. I am hopeful by nature. I labeled myself a Hope Dealer. And I do have hope, but unrealized expectations bind my reality. With people, yes, of course. With God? Absofreakinlutely.

I hope that tomorrow will be better. I expect that relief should have happened already. I hope my life will become what it is supposed to be. I expect that I will never feel safe and secure. I hope to get to a place where I can be in a relationship. I expect that it will go up in flames like all the others. I hope that God remembers who I am. I perceive that He has left me like everyone else.

I am angry and disappointed but full of joy and hope. Trauma response or an unrealistic optimist? Grief? Fight, Flight, Fawn, or Freeze? It feels like an oxymoron. Because it is great, and it sucks at the same time. Which led me to add perception to the mix in this thought train.


Perception is how we interpret and understand our experiences and the world. Our senses, beliefs, and past experiences shape it. Perception influences our reactions and decisions, affecting how we view situations, people, and outcomes.

Balancing hope, expectation, and perception can be challenging but is essential for emotional well-being. Hope keeps us going, fueling our resilience with optimism, even when things are uncertain. Expectations, grounded in past experiences, give us direction but can lead to disappointment if unmet. Perception shapes how we interpret our experiences and influences our reactions. To find balance, we must embrace hope’s positivity, set realistic expectations, and be mindful of how our perceptions shape our reality. This balance helps us better manage emotions and set achievable goals, making life’s ups and downs more manageable.

So, how do I perceive all of this? That is where I get stuck, trying to find the middle of the chaos, see myself clearly, and balance these three. The southern word for it is ‘conundrum.’ This conundrum is where my mental fortitude comes into question. This space defines my reactions, emotions, and ability to keep putting one foot in from the other. Some days, I do it by sheer will and determination. Some days, I run to the beach to find calm. Somedays, I sit with it and shut down everything around me. Some days, I just tell it to shut up and put it over there so I can deal with it later. Some days, it’s just exhausting.

Today is one of those days.