Hello, and welcome to the very first entry of “Surrender to the Truth” I’m Jennifer Shatzer, your guide on this deeply personal exploration of the hidden facets of our lives and the power of embracing vulnerability.
Each of us carry stories—tales of joy, sorrow, triumph, and tribulation. Yet, how often do we conceal these narratives, burying them beneath layers of daily duties and societal expectations? Here, in this sacred digital space, we will strip away those veils and delve into the essence of what makes us human.
I’ve been a vault of secrets ever since I was a kid, hoarding whispered words and half-truths like treasures. Secrets became my playthings, as natural to me as the laughter and mischievous games I shared with my cousin Heather. We reveled in the echo of bad words, not fully understanding their weight, not yet knowing that with each secret kept, I was learning the art of the lie.
The truth? I was always in the room, the firstborn who somehow heard everything she wasn’t supposed to. Affairs, vices, financial woes—I carried them all, innocently bundled within a child’s grasp. I can still feel the shaggy texture of my grandparent’s orange lounge, the softness against my palms as I entrusted my grandmother with a secret that was never mine to tell. That burden of knowing shaped a four-year-old, who became an adult, weaving through my life like a persistent thread.
This isn’t a place for dirty laundry, though. It’s not about airing out what’s past. It’s about confronting the echoes those secrets have left in my life—how they’ve twisted and turned through my marriage and lingered in the air as I raised my own children. It’s about recognizing the mask I’ve worn and the façade that being a secret keeper forced upon me.
Here, now, I choose to unburden. To lay bare the truths that have been hiding in plain sight. This space is my confession, my turning point, where I release the tangled stories and step out from the shadows they cast.
I’ve been called brave and celebrated for the courage I never felt. I’ve leapt from planes and dove deep in the ocean, a thrill-seeker in the eyes of onlookers, but never once did I feel the rush of bravery they imagined. It was another act in an extended performance—a lie told so convincingly I almost believed it myself.
No more. The truth is, I’m scared. I’ve always been scared—of failure, truth, and being nothing more than the sum of all these hidden things. But I’m tired of the act, the lies, and the fear ruling my life.
So, I start this story in a cramped apartment with Frank, my faithful labradoodle, in a life filled with contradictions and challenges. I’m betting on a plan greater than myself, even as I navigate the choppy waters of relationships and the constant push to make ends meet. It’s time to break free from the safety of silence. It’s time to write, speak, and let this story out. To finally use my voice of truth.
This is more than a blog and a threatened podcast. It’s my confession, my rebellion against the secrets I’ve kept and the lies I’ve lived. It’s the beginning of something true—my truth, messy and unvarnished.
You might question if you can trust the word of someone who’s perfected the art of deception. But as I sit here, heart pounding, I realize this is where healing begins. This is where I find out if there’s beauty in the breakdown and redemption in the reveal.
Here goes everything. Let’s unravel these secrets together.
