Lately, I’ve found myself using the phrase “grace and space” over and over in conversations with my girlfriends. It’s become a mantra—a reminder to pause, breathe, and let go of the relentless pressure we often put on ourselves. It’s a way of saying, ‘It’s okay to not be okay right now. Give yourself the grace to be where you are, and the space to grow from there.’ every time I say it, whether in response to their struggles or my own, it feels like a grounding truth: before giving grace and space to others, we must first offer it to ourselves.
Grace and space.
That’s what I’ve had to give myself lately—and encourage others to embrace, too.
Why Grace is Necessary
We tend to think of grace as something we extend to others—a way to forgive mistakes or release resentments. But what about when we are the ones who falter?
For years, I’ve been my harshest critic. I’ve held myself to impossible standards, replayed my failures like a broken record, and refused to acknowledge my own humanity. I know I’m not alone in this. So many of us carry around a voice that says, “You’re not enough.”
This is where grace comes in. Grace recognizes that perfection isn’t the goal and that being human means embracing our strengths and weaknesses. It’s about learning to let go of self-judgment and showing ourselves the kindness we so freely give to others.
Why Space is Crucial
Grace isn’t something we can rush. To fully embrace it, we need mental, emotional, and even physical space.
For me, creating space has meant:
• Space to reflect on where I am rather than where I think I should be.
• Space to grieve the hard things in life without rushing to “move on.”
• Space to rest and trust the process instead of constantly trying to fix everything.
Space can feel uncomfortable. It’s tempting to keep pushing forward, staying busy, or ignoring what’s hard. But space is where the healing happens. It’s the pause that allows us to breathe, to listen to ourselves, and to reconnect with what really matters.
This idea of space has resonated deeply in my conversations with friends lately. When they’ve shared their struggles—the exhaustion of trying to do it all, the heartache of broken relationships, or the weight of feeling stuck—I’ve found myself saying, “You need grace and space.” And every time, I’ve realized I need it just as much as they do.
Extending Grace and Space to Others
The more I’ve learned to give myself grace and space, the more I’ve been able to extend it to others. When I’ve honored my own, it’s much easier to be patient with someone else’s process. Grace is about recognizing that everyone is on their own journey, and space is about allowing them the freedom to grow in their own time.
This doesn’t mean ignoring boundaries or enabling harmful behavior. Grace isn’t about letting people walk all over us, and space isn’t about avoidance. Instead, they are invitations—to ourselves and others—to move forward without judgment, pressure, or unrealistic expectations.
Finding Strength in Vulnerability
I’ve discovered that grace and space aren’t signs of weakness—they’re sources of strength. When I stop trying to do it all on my own and let myself rest and regroup, I become stronger. And when I let go of perfection, I make room for authenticity.
So today, I’m reminding myself to start with grace and space, to offer myself compassion and room to breathe, and to extend that same gift to others. When we let go of the need to control, we make room for growth, healing, and connection. And isn’t that what we all need a little more of?
